Quarantine IS a B! Yes. It Is. For all of you who can relate and are out there living your best Quarantine Life, this is for YOU.
When the announcement of the “Safer at home” order started in Los Angeles, on March 15th, Carlos & I were in Downtown LA at Union Station. My parents were going back to Arizona and we were all in the car waiting until it was time for them to board their train. Up until that moment, I remember thinking, “This is ridiculous, everyone is FREAKING OUT-they all need to calm the F down.”
But as we listened to the new “Safer at Home” order, the anxiety started creeping in. Slowly at first and then, full steam ahead, and I began to panic. “You can’t get on the train NOW!”, I barked at them. I tried everything to convince them to stay. I cried, begged them to take a rental car, or even fly home but it was no use. Watching them pull away from the station was terrifying and I had no idea what was to come.
Driving home I asked the universe, through angry tears, to please keep them healthy and safe. I was mad at their, “God will protect us, everything will be fine when it’s our time”, conservative mindset. After all, this virus is unlike anything we have EVER seen.
I soon found myself in a minor state of denial. But after a few days, of seeing the mass panic, fear, and people hoarding supplies, my anxiety levels peaked, again. There was an overwhelming amount of information, not to mention getting text messages, emails, etc. with the latest fuel-filled fear.
All of a sudden, people we know are sick with COVID-19. So many people are dying. People are protesting, being hateful and fighting each other for toilet paper and Lysol wipes. Hours began to blur together and I found it harder and harder to talk to my parents and friends. Getting out of bed and the desire to do anything “productive” took all of my energy.
But then I realized, something beautiful is happening too. Amidst all of the heartache, sorrow, fear, anger, and grief, most of the world is coming together. They are healing, growing, and helping one another. YouTube shows like SGN brought hope, laughter, love, and plenty of tears. Kids began making masks for the masses and people started rescuing animals from shelters. Volunteers came from everywhere to help those in need and the front line workers who risked their lives every day started being appreciated for their heroic efforts.
But even with all of that badass good news, I still couldn’t quite snap out of this numb haze I was in. The days turned into weeks, weeks into months and now it’s the middle of May and the stay at home order has been extended, yet again.
It took me about one and a half months to process all that has been going on in this nightmarish reality. I realized I was depressed, angry, lethargic, and overcome with grief. Even my daily meditation wasn’t helping until I realized that I had to be still and listen to that little voice inside.
“It’s going to be ok.” the voice whispered- one day at a time. And that’s what I’ve been doing since.
I discovered that in order to grow through this, I had to choose to grow by plunging deeply inward, head first, and face me. To choose to no longer live in fear, stop apologizing for who I am, and spend a lot less time checking the news. And most importantly, I decided to no longer do anything that does not make me feel happy- ever again.
All of a sudden I began to feel my bright light return, even if it was only a flicker at first. I decided to start creating again, but this time, it would be on my terms. Raw, truthful, real, and thus, “Quarantine is a B, with Burgandi, was born.
These vids are my way of expressing myself. But, in a very, feisty, tell it like it is, in your face, and 100% unapologetically ME, way. I curse, belch, I speak my mind and I am having one hell of a time making them- regardless of how many views I get.
So without further ado, below is my QIAB playlist on my YouTube Channel!
Watch, like, subscribe, share, and comment below or on the vid and let me know if you can relate! Or don’t. No judgment. Also, let me know if you have any questions and I just might answer them in the next episode!
Please stay safe out there everyone! Sending you all so much freaking LOVE, light, health, and wellness.